Conflict is inevitable unless we play fair and exercise restraint as we go after all life has to offer.

Here are some simple guidelines based on the principles of emotional competency that can help our relationships grow stronger.

Expect respect. Don't tolerate disrespect. Don't show disrespect toward others. Don't ignore disrespect directed toward yourself or others.

Don't take the bait. Don't take anything personally. Ignore distracting, trivial, unfounded, or misguided provocations. Avoid pointless and destructive dominance contests. Discuss the facts, don't attack the person.

Don't make assumptions. Suspend judgment until you can gather representative evidence and confirm the facts. Challenge and investigate the source of rumors rather than passing them on.

Don't tolerate Ad hominem (personal) attacks. Do not make them yourself. Do not ignore them when you hear them. They are a dangerous precursor to hate.

Refuse to hate anyone. Explain and reconcile your loss, hurt or distress through careful analysis, not by blaming others or by hating others. Emphasize all the important things you have in common, not the small ways you differ. Hate is only sustained by cognitive error. Find and correct that error.

Don't overlook logical fallacies or factual errors. They are clear evidence of poor thinking, and often of deliberate deception. Apply the theory of knowledge continuously to evaluate all you see and hear.

Always act congruently with your well-chosen values and beliefs. Be authentic.

Conflict is inevitable. Learn to resolve it constructively. Attend to both the relationship and the issues. Get along as you get ahead together.

You are a competent, autonomous adult. You are fully responsible for all your words and actions, as are other competent adults. Be impeccable with your word; do what you say.

Never resort to violence or abuse. Learn to recognize it in all its forms. Don't cross the line, even in retaliation. There is always a better way; find it. Seek a constructive dialog.